• Healing from Infidelity

    The Divorce Busting® Guide to Rebuilding Your Marriage After an Affair

    by

    Michele Weiner-Davis

    From bestselling author and renowned relationship expert, Michele Weiner-Davis, comes a powerful blueprint for helping couples rebuild trust and mend their marriages following the pain of the discovery of an affair through forgiveness and beyond.

     

     

  • About the Book

    Let Michele Weiner-Davis be your “infidelity coach.” She “tells it like it is,” outlining a bold, step-by-step program to help both the betrayed and unfaithful spouse:

    • End the affair permanently
    • Work through traumatic feelings following the discovery
    • Talk about intense emotions without arguing
    • Know when- and when not to- discuss the affair
    • Become more forthcoming and transparent when talking about what happened
    • Understand why the affair happened
    • Avoid destructive criticism and self-blame
    • Identify emotional support that is "marriage-friendly"
    • Eliminate shame
    • Offer apologies that are healing
    • Overcome flashbacks and painful memories
    • Deal effectively with setbacks
    • Rebuild trust
    • Strengthen the marriage in new ways
    • Find forgiveness
    • Reconnect sexually
    • Affair-proof the marriage

    Also

    • What to do when the affair remains on-going
    • How one spouse can fight for the marriage when the other wants out

     

  • About Michele

    Michele Weiner-Davis

     

    Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW is an internationally renowned relationship expert, best-selling author, marriage therapist, and professional speaker. Michele was among the first in her field to courageously speak out about the pitfalls of unnecessary divorce. She has been passionate about helping couples save their marriages for over 3 decades, and is considered by many to be the “go-to” therapist for 911 relationships.

     

    In addition to HEALING FROM INFIDELITY, Michele is the author of seven books including the bestselling, DIVORCE BUSTING and THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE. Her TEDx talk on The Sex-Starved Marriage has been viewed by over 2 million people. Michele's work has been featured in every major newspaper and magazine. She has been a frequent guest on Oprah, 48 Hours, CBS This Morning, The TODAY show, Good Morning America and 20/20.

     

    Michele is the Director of The Divorce Busting® Center in Boulder, Colorado. She was the recipient of several awards including, The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy's prestigious Outstanding Contribution to the Field of Marriage and Therapy Award.

     

    Michele's real claim to fame, she believes, is her 40-year marriage, two adult children and two grandchildren, who also live in Colorado.

     

    Michele offers private 2-day intensives sessions for couples who want to heal their marriages after an affair. Call her office for information. Ask for Virginia, her assistant. 303-444-7004.

     

    If you're a mental health professional, check out Michele's new, step-by-step professional online training program to help work with couples dealing with betrayal!!

  • Endorsements....

    "Rebuilding a marriage after an affair is one of life's biggest hurts and challenges. Weiner-Davis' no-nonsense advice is clear, insightful, and can save your marriage."

    Daniel G. Amen, MD Founder, Amen Clinics, Co-author of, The Brain Warrior's Way

     

    "In a paradoxical sense, Healing from Infidelity, another brilliant book by Michele Weiner-Davis, is a call for fidelity to marriage regardless of commitment challenges. Filled with wisdom from years of clinical experience, case histories that document the healing process and practical guidance for all the stages on the journey to recovery, this book will be useful to every couple who has experienced an affair and therapists who want to help them."

    Harville Hendrix, Ph. D., Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph. D, co-authors of, Making Marriage Simple

     

    Healing from Infidelity is by far the most optimistic, pro-marriage book for couples dealing with infidelity.Michele's crucial message is that most couples can and do survive infidelity and can develop a stronger marital and sexual bond. The relapse prevention chapter " Ten tips for affair-proofing your marriage" should be read by all couples."

    Barry McCarthy, Ph.D. is author of Rekindling Desire and Enduring Desire

     

     

    "Divorce Busting therapist, Michele Weiner-Davis is an able guide for couples experiencing the pain and heartbreak of infidelity. Her important book offers compassionate and non-judgmental help for both the betrayed spouse and the unfaithful partner. Any couple seeking to bring their relationship back from the brink should start with Healing from Infidelity.

    "Ask Amy" Syndicated advice columnist Amy Dickinson,

     

     

    “I know of no better person to guide you through the toughest relationship issues than Michele Weiner-Davis. Her skill, knowledge, and proven track record put her in the rare class of the most successful therapists in the world.”

    Pat Love, Ph.D Author of, Hot Monogamy

     

    "This book can be used as a standalone for couples, as well as an adjunct to therapy. Its even-handed orientation will appeal to both the unfaithful partner and the injured spouse. It is book of “how to;” not a book about “why.”... There is a path to success, and as a tireless advocate of marriage, Michele Weiner-Davis provides a roadmap to recovery in Healing from Infidelity."

    Jeff Zeig, PhD. Founder and Director of the Milton H. Erickson Foundation

     

    "In Healing from Infidelity, esteemed therapist Michele Weiner-Davis takes couples through the arduous task of recovery from betrayal of trust. ....A wiser and more experienced voice for restoring faith in relationship would be hard for afflicted couples to find."

    Steven Stosny, Ph.D., author of, Soar Above: How to Use the Most Profound Part of the Brian under Any Kind of Stress

     

    "Whether you did the cheating, or were cheated on, Weiner-Davis is fair, empathetic and doesn't take sides. It's really the closest thing to having a master therapist take your hand and walk you through the process every step of the way!"

    Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT, NY Times Best-selling Author of, She Comes First.

  • Testimonials

    Hearing from you is the best part of my day.

    Erin W.

    "This book is an amazing resource for anyone dealing with the aftermath of infidelity. Michele is empathetic and understands how it feels following an affair being exposed. She gives practical advice to both the betrayed spouse and the unfaithful spouse.

     

    My husband and I followed her advice and I credit that to us still being married, and better yet, happy together. Like Michele says in the book, it takes hard work and commitment. Healing from Infidelity helped us to navigate the ups and downs of the path to regaining our marriage. I would HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone whose marriage has been impacted by an affair."

    Susan B.

    "My husband and I recently celebrated our 20th marriage anniversary. Several months ago, I did not see this as even the most remote possibility. My husband told me he did not love me and was no longer attracted to me. His revelation caught me totally unaware. I had absolutely no idea our marriage was in such dire trouble.

    I initially experienced denial of the situation and convinced myself that I could do something to fix the way my husband felt about me. I obsessed over thinking it was my fault and believed I could remedy the problems if only I was thinner, younger looking and more attractive. Then... the truth surfaced.

     

    I discovered that my husband was having an affair with a woman he met at work. My world fell apart. I lost twenty pounds in two months, could not sleep, developed anxiety and panic attacks, and became severely depressed. Everywhere I turned for help and support, including my therapist, my doctor, my friends and my sister, I got the very same advice.... file for divorce and just move on.

     

    Feeling hopeless and helpless I did just that...I filed for divorce. But when it came to pulling the trigger, I just could not follow through on finalizing the divorce. I had an ever-present thought that divorce was just not the answer.

    Research led me to your books. I am certain that if I had not found your program I would be divorced right now. I will be forever grateful to your amazing program for giving me the tools I needed to get through the nightmare of my husband's infidelity and make the changes we needed to fall back in love and heal our marriage. Please accept my heartfelt gratitude for helping me choose love and save my marriage. Thank you."

    Timothy R.

    "After I found out about my wife's affair, I wanted to walk away. We tried years of "traditional" therapy and still, we were going nowhere. I thought I was ready to give up and move on, but I knew down inside it wasn't what I really wanted for myself, or my family.

     

    Then we decided to see Michele to give it one last ditch effort. Addiction, infidelity, and zero trust were the core ingredients that made up our recipe for disaster.

     

    We focused on what we needed to do to move forward, and learned how to effectively communicate. Wow, what a transformation! Not only did we not divorce, but we have been "honeymooning" since. That was several years ago. The word "divorce" has never been spoken in our household again!

     

    Thank you, Michele, for the direction and focus to put our lives back together!"

    Jason S.

    Our marriage was shattered by an affair. My wife and I decided immediately after the discovery of the affair that we both wanted to try to save the marriage.

     

    Unfortunately, neither one of us really knew what to do next. We did what most people do. We hired a ‘marriage counselor’ in our hometown which nearly destroyed the already fragile marriage my wife and I had left.

     

    Here we were doing everything our counselor was telling us to do, yet nothing was getting better at home. We were talking about the marriage and our problems a lot; but nothing changed. It was starting to feel as if our marriage couldn’t be saved. Our counselor actually advised us that we needed to face the possibility that divorce may be the best option. It was devastating.

     

    Michele was our last hope.

     

    My wife and I spent two days with Michele in October. She helped us make a tangible, solution-focused plan to save our marriage. We did the work and I can honestly say that our marriage is better than it has been except for maybe the honeymoon phase we enjoyed 17 years ago. I will forever be grateful to Michele....

     

    Now we have hope. We have confidence. We have each other. Michele helped us change the course of our marriage and because of that, our future, our two daughters’ futures, and hopefully many generations to follow futures."

    Ellen S.

    Six months ago, my marriage was on the brink of divorce. My husband of 22 years had a two-year long affair with a co-worker. Our relationship was at rock bottom and my husband told me he thought he should leave me and our two children.

     

    It was Michele Wiener Davis' book Divorce Busting that helped me to know what steps to take to fight for my marriage and my family. My husband and I also did a two day intensive with Michele Weiner-Davis which gave both of us hope for our marriage for the first time in more than two years. Michele provided us with the tools we needed to get back on track.

     

    I was thrilled when I found out she came out with a book that deals specifically with how to heal from infidelity. It provided both my husband and I with spot-on advice on what we need to do to move forward and recover. Our marriage is still a work in progress, but we are in the best place we have been in many years, and I credit Michele Weiner-Davis and her books and sage advice. Our family will be forever grateful for the huge part Michele's work played in keeping us together.

    J. P. Wagers

    I had the pleasure of reading Michele's newest book in advance of its publication. As a mental health professional who treats couples, I can assure that the wise advice Michele imparts in this book is worth reading! The book is useful for partners who have been betrayed, but also for partners who have engaged in betrayal, and includes different advice for each partner who is trying to heal in their own way.

     

    This book is also appropriate for individuals who have just started to deal with an infidelity, as well as couples who have been trying to cope for awhile, but may find themselves stuck. The book is hopeful, wise, practical and easy to read. It integrates a lot of the clinical wisdom Michele herself has amassed in her extensive work with couples, but also pulls in ideas from a number of the field's best thinkers in the area of infidelity. This book will have an important impact in the lives of couples who are struggling with the hardest thing they've ever had to face. Well done!

    Annie L.

    Someone close to me had an affair, but has been trying very hard to get his marriage back. So, when I read Michele's chapters directed to the one who cheated, it seemed as if she knew exactly what he was going through! She spells out the very important things he needs to do to care for his wife, but she also relates to what is he going through and is such an amazing cheerleader.

     

    Thank you, Michele, for offering so much encouragement to both parties, but especially for my friend who just needs to hear that the marriage is absolutely worth fighting for and to keep going!